If you really know me, you know I don't publicly cry. Not at weddings, births, or funerals! I can't tell you why, I just don't. If you know me you also know I loved my nanny very much! She was so amazing and never let there be a quiet moment. She loved you for who you were and tried to see the best in everyone, even those in my family that I'd just as soon never talk to again and don't usually...Almost two years ago breast cancer stole her from me, from all of us! It was mother's day which I feels fits right since she was an awesome mom/grandmother! But what I will always remember was the last time I saw her as herself! Her body was shutting down and most days she really didn't know who we were but the Tuesday before she died we went to see her and she was disoriented but knew us by name. We all talked to her and then my grandfather, who is the sweetest, quietest man i know, sat next to her and she asked him where he'd been...that she had missed him! I started to slowly break because in her not so good days she thought he wasn't there even though he was never more than a few feet away. He told her he never left and would always be with her, he never cried to her that i could see...he didn't want to upset her but that shook me so bad! To be with someone for so long to lose them @ 69 to something as harsh as cancer! I can only hope my love with my husband is like theirs was/is! Everytime I hear that song by Craig Morgan "this ain't nothing" i think of them and i break a little! So as another year comes up without her and I have since had my daughter, I look at her (especially when she smiles cause she looks just like her) I think to myself how much her nanny would have loved her and spoiled her! So I will continue to fight the fight for her and my aunt! I will walk the walks, will buy the stuff, and will wear the ribbons because one day i hope someone doesn't have to experience her pain! To sum this all up CANCER SUCKS!
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