marriage gone wrong

A lot of marriages end divorce, it's normal! it got too hard or you fought too much why not just end it, right? Most people would agree, no one would think less of you, that's what our way of thinking has come to. It's not working then get out!  I just can't understand!  My husband makes me crazy sometimes, as I'm sure sometimes he would rather be any where besides listening to me nag at him but when we got married it was not till things got too tough or until he starts getting on my nerves, it was for life! marriage is a very permanent thing and should be treated as such. There is nothing I think that can't be worked through if you really and truly love someone(aside abuse) and to see ppl treat it as no more than a piece of paper instead of the living thing it is totally baffles me! It is a verb not a noun, you have to work at it every day and if that's too much then you should have never gotten married to begin with!

Ok, sorry for the rant! *climbs down off soap box*

drowning

Well Michael has been home almost 8 months now and I feel like I am drowning! I still don't work and can't figure out a way to work and make any money if I have to pay for daycare. I love my husband but I don't think he can handle the kids at night by his self every night for me to work at night again and I really don't want to because I would never see him or mikey. I don't know what to do, the rent lady is getting tired of working with us and I can't blame her. I don't know what to do, I cried for close to an hour because I feel so helpless, like I don't do anything. Michael had an interview yesterday for three different positions at yahama, hopefully he'll get one and at least get a pay increase....this blog really doesn't make a lot of sense or really have a conclusion but I just needed to get this out....thanks for listening!

5 years

On the 23rd I celebrated 5 years with my awesome husband! 5 years, it seems like so much longer....we have been through so much in our time. Most people thinks he is crazy and horribly outspoken but he let's me be me and laughs at the stupid things that I say. He knows my pain and my joy, he is my soul, he makes me feel beautiful and special. It hasn't always been easy, he can be a major pain in the rump sometimes, he has done things that, for most ppl, would be a deal breaker but I always saw the man he is now. The man who tells me I'm amazing when our house looks like a hot mess, who loves our awesome kids with everything he has, who calls me on the bull and then try to tell me some of his own, who always has a story for everything (even if he made it up), the man who works his butt off at his job and never once nagged me about getting one. He is not always popular with others but he is amazing, loving, and funny!  we didn't  spend our anniversary date night at the bar or out partying but we ate steak n shake pulling the alphabet game while the kids were at my mom's house and that's just us and how we are and I like it that way!